We Love Them Dumb Criminals

Robert Siciliano Identity Theft Expert

Dumb criminals are often just ignorant people who do stupid things for a number of idiotic reasons. But one thing’s for sure, they sure are fun to watch.

This kid in Florida used his index or “pointer” finger to hold up a convenient store. The store manager at first thought it was a joke, which in a sense it was, but the kid was serious, and when the cashier confronted the cocked finger, the dude fled.

A poor unfortunate lost soul whose drug addiction overtook him, didn’t trust his crack dealers and went to the local police to see if they could check the quality of his crack. That didn’t go over to well.

A car gets pulled over by the police for a moving violation. The driver already had a prior record and didn’t want to get into any more trouble. So he provided the cop with someone else’s name. Turned out that name was for someone who was wanted for homicide. Karma man, karma.

Two guys walk into a bar…..to rob it. They had machetes. The bar was full of burly bikers who use machetes to butter their bread. The two guys leave bar on stretchers.

Guy is convicted of receiving stolen goods. Gets home detention and has to wear a GPS ankle bracelet. Guy leaves his home to break into other homes to get more stolen goods. They call this man a “recidivist”. Cops get the alarm that ankle boy is not where he should be. They track him to his car full of loot. That’s one dumb criminal.

Lawyers say that people get into trouble for 2 reasons, 1: they do illegal things and 2: they tell police what they did. Bank robber is arrested suspected of bank robbery. Cop says it’s for robbing four banks. Robber gets belligerent, and says I only did 3!

Bubble head tries to get a date with the cashier in a liquor store. He gives her his digits. Then he steals a bottle of vodka. She calls the cops, he gets a court date.

More from Readers Digest here

Not all criminals are dumb. But unfortunately many homeowners aren’t too smart either. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to secure your home and valuables.

  1. Install a safe in your home and bolt it to the floor. A safe prevents theft of jewelry, cash and other smaller easily lifted items. Many insurance companies won’t even insure without a safe on premises.
  1. Install a security camera system. Even the dumbest of criminals don’t get caught, but they will think twice if you have a camera on their dumb mug.
  1. Keep that home security alarm on all day, every day. You’d have to be a complete tool to break into a home that is alarmed. And frankly in today’s crime climate, you’d have to be dumb not to have one.

Robert Siciliano personal security expert to Home Security Source discussing home security and scams on TBS Movie and a Makeover

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