The Definitive Guide to Prevent Romance Scams

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Financial fraud takes many forms, but romance scams are arguably the most devastating. They exploit not just finances, but also emotions, leaving victims heartbroken and betrayed.

Think you’re immune to romance scams?  Don’t be so sure.  Loneliness can cloud judgment, making even the most savvy individuals vulnerable. While you might not fall victim, someone you care about could.

Consider those close to you – a family member, a friend, a loved one. Have they ever expressed feelings of loneliness?  It’s during these times that we’re all more susceptible to making poor choices, including falling for online scams.

Just this week, a woman fell victim to a romance scam and reached out to me for help. Not only did she lose thousands of dollars, but the scammer then posed as a cybersecurity expert, offering to recover her funds for an additional fee. This is a devastating example of how scammers exploit vulnerability and trust.

Big Money Losses

In 2023, reported losses to romance scams in the United States reached approximately $1.14 billion, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). The median loss per victim was around $2,000, making romance scams the highest reported losses among various forms of imposter scams. Additionally, the FBI recorded nearly 17,823 complaints related to romance scams, totaling about $653 million in losses.

Based on research, there is no single demographic that is definitively the most vulnerable to romance scams. However, several groups appear to be at higher risk:

Middle-aged individuals: People aged 55-64 are most likely to fall victim to romance scams, with a 49% increase in cases for this age group in 2023 compared to 2022.

Older adults: Those aged 65-74 lose the most money on average.

Men: Slightly more likely to be victims, making up 52% of cases in 2023.

Women: While less likely to be victims, they tend to report higher losses when scammed.

Recently widowed or divorced seniors: Targeted due to potential vulnerability and access to cash.

Young adults: The 18-29 age group is most commonly targeted for romance scam sextortion.

While older adults are often considered vulnerable, recent studies suggest scammers target all generations almost equally. Factors such as loneliness, impulsivity, and online behavior contribute to vulnerability across age groups.

Brad Pitt Is NOT Perusing You

The Brad Pitt romance scam was a sophisticated fraud that targeted a 53-year-old French interior designer named Anne in 2024.

The scam began when a woman names Anne in France was approached on Instagram by someone claiming to be Brad Pitt’s mother, Jane Etta Pitt. Over the course of a year and a half, Anne believed she was in an online romantic relationship with Brad Pitt. Scammers used AI-generated images and fake social media accounts to create convincing content, including photos of Pitt in hospital settings. The fraudsters used plenty of emotional manipulation, and sent Anne love poems, songs, and even a marriage proposal to gain her trust.

Scammers claimed Pitt needed money for kidney cancer treatment, alleging his accounts were frozen due to his divorce from Angelina Jolie. It’s not exactly clear, how the money changed hands, but Anne lost approximately $850,000 to the scammers, her entire life savings. Some reports alluded to her married at the time, and her rich husband’s bank account was likely where that money came from.

The scam led Anne to divorce her husband and attempt suicide three times after realizing she had been defrauded. Brad Pitt’s representatives warned fans that the actor does not have a social media presence and urged caution against unsolicited online outreach.

This case highlights the increasing sophistication of romance scams, particularly those using AI technology, and the severe emotional and financial toll they can take on victims.

Romance Scam Recipe

A romance scam is a deceptive scheme where fraudsters create fake online profiles to establish romantic relationships with victims for financial gain. Key aspects include:

1. Scammers use dating sites, apps, or social media to contact potential victims.

2. They create attractive, fake profiles, often claiming to be in the military, working abroad, or in similar situations.

3. Scammers quickly develop an emotional connection, sometimes declaring love rapidly.

4. They avoid in-person meetings or video calls, making excuses about their unavailability.

Victims Function in Denial

Victims of romance scams often struggle to believe they are being scammed due to several psychological factors:

  • Emotional attachment: Scammers build intense emotional connections over time, making it difficult for victims to accept the relationship isn’t real.
  • Cognitive dissonance: Victims find it challenging to reconcile their strong feelings with the idea that they’ve been deceived.
  • Trauma bonding: The cyclical pattern of affection and degradation creates a dysfunctional attachment, making it hard for victims to leave the relationship.
  • Sunk cost fallacy: Victims continue investing in the relationship due to how much they’ve already committed emotionally and financially.
  • Trust and benevolence: Victims tend to be more trusting and benevolent, making them more susceptible to manipulation.
  • Impulsivity: Romance scam victims often score higher on impulsivity measures, particularly urgency and sensation-seeking.
  • Idealization: Many victims describe scammers as “ideal partners,” making it difficult to separate the criminal from the fake identity.
  • Psychological distress: The emotional trauma of the scam can lead to symptoms resembling depression, grief, or PTSD, clouding judgment.
  • Shame and embarrassment: Victims may be reluctant to admit they’ve been scammed due to fear of judgment or ridicule.
  • Sophisticated manipulation: Scammers use advanced techniques, including AI-generated images and voices, making their deceptions increasingly convincing.

These factors combine to create a powerful psychological barrier that prevents victims from recognizing or accepting that they are being scammed, even when presented with evidence.

Online Dating Sites a Predators Tool

Online dating sites inadvertently facilitate romance scammers in several ways. Scammers can quickly set up fake profiles with stolen photos and fabricated information.

  1. Limited verification: Many sites lack robust identity verification processes, allowing fraudsters to operate anonymously.
  2. Algorithmic matching: Scammers exploit matching algorithms to target vulnerable users based on their profiles.
  3. Private messaging: Built-in messaging systems enable scammers to communicate directly with potential victims.
  4. Emotional context: The romantic nature of dating sites makes users more susceptible to emotional manipulation.
  5. Isolation tactics: Scammers can easily request to move conversations off-platform, isolating victims from site protections.
  6. Large user base: The high volume of users provides a vast pool of potential targets for scammers.
  7. Limited monitoring: Many sites struggle to effectively monitor and detect fraudulent activity due to the scale of user interactions.
  8. Cross-platform vulnerabilities: Scammers can use information from dating profiles to target victims on other social media platforms.
  9. Normalization of online relationships: The acceptance of forming relationships online makes it easier for scammers to build trust without meeting in person.

These factors combine to create an environment where romance scammers can operate with relative ease, despite efforts by some platforms to implement safety measures.

Loneliness is AWFUL!

People feel lonely due to a variety of factors that can be categorized into psychological, situational, and social aspects:

Psychological Factors

1. Social anxiety and shyness: These can prevent individuals from forming lasting relationships and lead to avoidant behaviors in social situations.

2. Low self-esteem and self-efficacy: Believing in one’s inability to succeed in social situations can contribute to loneliness.

3. Mental health issues: Conditions like depression and anxiety can both cause and be exacerbated by loneliness.

4. Maladaptive cognition: Long-term loneliness can lead to hypervigilance and social awkwardness, making it harder to maintain or establish relationships.

Situational Factors

1. Life changes: Events such as bereavement, end of relationships, job loss, retirement, or moving to a new area can trigger feelings of loneliness.

2. Physical isolation: Living alone or in areas with low population density can limit social interactions.

3. Health issues: Illness, disability, or mobility problems can restrict social engagement.

4. Caregiving responsibilities: Providing care that feels burdensome can lead to social isolation.

Social and Cultural Factors

1. Lack of meaningful connections: Despite having social contacts, a person may feel lonely if these relationships lack depth or significance.

2. Cultural transitions: Migrants may experience loneliness due to missing their home culture or struggling to adapt to a new one.

3. Societal changes: Increasing individualism in Western cultures may contribute to loneliness by prioritizing personal goals over communal values.

4. Social contagion: Loneliness can spread through social groups, as lonely individuals may inadvertently push others away due to maladaptive behaviors.

Understanding these diverse factors is crucial for addressing loneliness effectively, as it often results from a complex interplay of personal, situational, and societal influences.

Protect Your Self or a Loved One

Here are the top 10 romance scam red flags to be aware of:

Rapid emotional attachment: Professing love quickly without meeting in person.

Avoiding face-to-face meetings: Always having excuses to cancel planned meetings.

Requests for money: Asking for financial assistance, often for emergencies or travel expenses.

Unrealistic profile photos: Using images that look like models or are too good to be true.

Pressure to move communication off-site: Wanting to quickly leave dating platforms for private messaging.

Vague or inconsistent personal details: Providing little information about themselves or changing their story.

Excessive interest in your personal life: Asking many questions but revealing little about themselves.

Claims of working in positions that require frequent travel: Such as military, government official, or oil rig worker.

Urgent requests or emotional manipulation: Using pressure tactics to make quick decisions.

Asking for sensitive information: Seeking personal details that could be used for identity theft or security questions.

These red flags can help individuals identify potential romance scammers and protect themselves from financial and emotional harm. Romance scams prey on emotions, leading to financial loss and heartbreak. Be vigilant, research online connections, and never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. Protect yourself and your loved ones by staying informed and aware.

Robert Siciliano CSP, CSI, CITRMS is a security expert and private investigator with 30+ years experience, #1 Best Selling Amazon author of 5 books, and the architect of the CSI Protection certification; a Cyber Social Identity and Personal Protection security awareness training program. He is a frequent speaker and media commentator, and CEO of Safr.Me and Head Trainer at ProtectNowLLC.com.

The ULTIMATE How to: Multiple SHTF Emergency Kits & How to Build Them

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This is somewhat of a selfish article. I’ve been procrastinating on completing my already robust emergency preparedness kit arsenal. I have a number of kits for certain purposes, all designed to be thrown in the back of the Yukon, or on the backs of my family. So, with some winter downtime, coupled with the absolute tragic events of the earth being on fire, and the overall extremes of climate change and political strife, I thought it was time to list out, update and upgrade my preparedness. And so this article is for me first, and then for you, dear reader, to get off your dupa, and prepare for what I consider the inevitable.

Emergency kits also known as:

  • Survival kit
  • Disaster kit
  • Preparedness kit
  • Go bag
  • Bug-out bag (often used for more serious emergencies)
  • Get-home bag (for emergencies that may require you to leave work or another location)
  • First aid kit (though this is a specific component of a larger emergency kit)

The primary purpose of an emergency kit is to provide basic necessities and support for individuals and families during a disaster or unexpected emergency. And as they say, if you fail to prepare, then you’ve prepared to fail. This is one of my many axioms in life.

Here’s a breakdown:

Increased Self-Reliance: An emergency kit empowers you to become more self-reliant during a crisis. You’ll have access to essential supplies without relying solely on external assistance, which may be delayed or unavailable during emergencies.

Improved Safety and Well-being:

  • Medical Emergencies: First aid supplies can address minor injuries, while medications ensure access to essential prescriptions.
  • Natural Disasters: Kits can provide shelter, warmth, and communication tools during power outages, severe weather, or other natural disasters.
  • Personal Emergencies: They can be helpful during unexpected events like car breakdowns, evacuations, or unexpected power outages.
  • Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Knowing you have a well-stocked emergency kit can provide comfort, and a a sense of peace of mind and reduce anxiety during stressful situations.

Essentially, an emergency kit is a proactive measure to enhance your safety, security, comfort and well-being during unforeseen circumstances. These emergency kits can consist of backpacks, which I have a number of filled to the brim, and large plastic containers like the 27 gallon totes that I can pull from if we are sheltering in place. If I have to, or need to drive/escape, I can throw in the bins/backpacks in the back of my truck. I probably have six of these right now filled with all kinds of stuff.

Emergency kits can be broken down into a bunch of categories. Keeping in mind we are all different with different needs. My philosophy has always been that these kits are insurance, that requires a small financial investment, that you’ll hopefully never have to cash in. It’s kind of like buying firearms and firearm ammunition, that you never plan on extensively shooting, with the hope that you can pass down for generations.

The most essential categories for a well-rounded “go bag” or emergency kits include:

Water & Food:

  • Water: Bottled water, water purification tablets, and a water filter. Having a few 2.5 gallon jugs to throw in the car is good too. If we are sheltering in place, consider the blue food grade 55 gallon drums filled with water. I have 4.
  • Food: Non-perishable items like canned goods, dried fruit, energy bars, and protein powder. Consider items that can sit for years, like dehydrated foods that require adding water and still be consumable in the worst case scenario.

First Aid & Hygiene:

  • First Aid Kit: Include essentials like bandages, gauze, pain relievers, Vaseline, antiseptics, antibiotics, and any necessary personal medications.
  • Hygiene Items: Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, hand sanitizer, feminine hygiene products (if applicable), toilet paper and wet wipes. Lots of wet wipes! If you have girls, lots of girl stuff.
  • Think of a time when you were miserably sick or in a lot of pain, and what medicines you had access to that provided you comfort and relief. Get lots of whatever that is.
  • I load up on all of this stuff all year long and just keep throwing it in a bin.

Shelter & Warmth:

  • Warm Clothing: Include layers like a jacket, hat, gloves, and socks.
  • Some type of dry, warm, waterproof boot.
  • Emergency Blankets: Lightweight, reflective blankets can provide warmth.
  • Tarp or Poncho: For temporary shelter from the elements.
  • I have entire bins for camping which include tarps, tents and cooking gear, which includes small bottles of propane in case we need to live outside for an extended period of time.
  • Mr. Heater, portable heat. Google it, these are propane heaters that will provide warmth whenever, wherever. Just be careful using them indoors. I have a bin specifically with a variety of Mr. Heater heaters for certain purposes.

Communication & Navigation:

  • Flashlights: With extra batteries or a hand-crank option. Get plenty of headlamps.
  • Battery-powered radio or NOAA Weather Radio: For emergency broadcasts and news updates.
  • Whistle: For signaling for help.
  • Compass: For navigation if necessary.
  • Cell phone and charger: Keep your phone charged and consider a portable charger.
  • Lots of batteries, portable solar panels with cables.
  • Two way radios and take out the batteries and leave aside in case they leak. Load up on the Baofeng UV-5R Dual Band Two Way Radios. For under 20 bucks each, these little things are a miracle.

Important Documents:

  • Copies of important documents: Driver’s license, insurance cards, medical records, bank information, and any other essential documents. Our passports are always updated and ready to go.

Tools & Other Essentials:

  • Multi-tool or pocketknife for various tasks. Razor blades, scissors, knives etc. Pliers, adjustable wrenches, wire cutters, and bolt cutters. There isn’t a fence or a gate that I will not be able to cut through.
  • Rags, if you have the room, maybe paper towels, duct tape, electrical tape, rope, twine, and bungee cords. Versatile for repairs and securing items. Every so often, I throw a bunch of wire coat hangers in the bin. I hope I never find a use for them.
  • Hatchet, ax and hammers. Allen wrenches, torque wrenches, and. various tools to service vehicles, and or firearms.
  • Plastic bags of all sizes, plastic containers of all sizes.
  • Cash and change: lots of one’s, fives, tens and 20s. Keep some readily available for emergencies.
  • Matches, a lighter, fire starter: In a waterproof container.
  • Grab a bottle or two of whiskey and vodka every year and put it away. This can serve as a sterilizer, but also for bartering.

Self defense kit:

  • Loaded magazines for the various firearms you might possess. Extra boxes of ammunition in various calibers.
  • Necessary holsters, belly bands, and battle belts to carry various firearms and magazines. Rifles should have a sling. Consider bullet proof vests or plate carriers. If you shop it, you can get a good plate carrier with level three plates for under $150 each. If all of this is out of your comfort-zone, that’s fine, but you may want to saddle up with somebody like myself if this isn’t your game.  But make sure you have something to barter!
  • Ear and eye protection.
  • Throwing knives, tactical pens, pepper spray and I’m a fan of knuckle type devices. Anything you can carry in your hand that can cause blunt force trauma.
  • I have a tool kit specifically to service firearms with all the necessary spare parts, and Allen wrenches etc.
  • The idea on all of the above is that you never need any of it. I’d rather have it and not need it and pass it on to my loved ones who have it and don’t need it ever.

Remember:

  • Personalize your kits: Consider your specific needs and potential risks in your area.
  • Regularly review and update: Check your kit regularly, replace expired items, and adjust it based on changing needs and circumstances.
  • Practice: Conduct a “practice drill” with your family to familiarize yourselves with your kit and how to use it in an emergency.

This list is designed to inspire you. These are the basics plus a bit more. Some of you will agree, some of you definitely won’t agree, and that’s fine too. Some of you will have your own requirements. This article’s purpose is to provide a solid foundation for building multiple effective emergency kits. It’s better to have all of this and never need it and pass it on to those who hopefully never need it.  Feel free to add some comments.

Robert Siciliano CSP, CSI, CITRMS is a security expert and private investigator with 30+ years experience, #1 Best Selling Amazon author of 5 books, and the architect of the CSI Protection certification; a Cyber Social Identity and Personal Protection security awareness training program. He is a frequent speaker and media commentator, and CEO of Safr.Me and Head Trainer at ProtectNowLLC.com.

Your Kids Data Hacked: 45 Million Students and Teachers Records Exposed

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The PowerSchool data breach, which occurred in late December 2024, involved the unauthorized access to sensitive information belonging to millions of students and teachers across the United States.

What Happened:

  • Compromised Credentials: The breach exploited a vulnerability in the PowerSchool SIS (Student Information System) platform, specifically through the “PowerSource” customer support portal.
  • Data Theft: Some reports say cybercriminals gained access to the system using stolen credentials, enabling them to extract significant amounts of data.
  • Data Impacted: The stolen data included a range of sensitive information, such as:
    • Student Information: Names, addresses, dates of birth, Social Security numbers, medical records, grades, and even disciplinary records.
    • Teacher Information: Names, addresses, contact information, and potentially other personal details.

How it Happened:

  • Vulnerability Exploitation: Other reports say the attackers likely exploited a security flaw in the PowerSource portal, potentially through a phishing attack or by obtaining legitimate credentials through other means.
  • Insufficient Security Measures: The breach highlights potential weaknesses in security infrastructure, such as inadequate password protection, insufficient monitoring, or lack of robust intrusion detection systems.

Impact on Personal Security:

  • Identity Theft: The exposure of Social Security numbers and other personal information significantly increases the risk of identity theft for both students and teachers.
    • This could lead to financial fraud, such as the opening of fraudulent accounts including credit cards.
  • Data Misuse: The stolen data could be used for various malicious purposes, including:
    • Targeted Phishing Attacks: Cybercriminals could use the information to launch highly targeted phishing attacks, increasing the likelihood of successful social engineering attempts.
    • Black Market Trade: The stolen data could be sold on the dark web, where it can be used by other criminals for various illicit activities.
  • Privacy Violations: The breach represents a serious violation of privacy for students, teachers, and their families.
    • This can erode trust in educational institutions and technology providers.
  • Psychological Impact: The data breach can cause significant anxiety and distress for individuals affected, particularly those whose sensitive personal information has been compromised.

Addressing the Impact:

  • Monitoring Credit Reports: Individuals affected by the breach should closely monitor their credit reports for any suspicious activity and consider placing a fraud alert or credit freeze.
  • Strong Passwords and Multi-Factor Authentication: Implementing strong, unique passwords and enabling multi-factor authentication on all online accounts is crucial to mitigate the risk of further compromise.
  • Be Vigilant for Phishing Attempts: Individuals should be highly vigilant for any suspicious emails, phone calls, or text messages, especially those that appear to be from legitimate sources.
  • Educate Yourself on Cybersecurity Best Practices: Understanding basic cybersecurity principles and best practices can help individuals protect themselves from online threats.

Freeze you and your child’s credit now. 

There are two ways to go about freezing your child’s credit. One is free, but it takes a lot of time, and the credit bureaus are very difficult to work with, and the second is fee-based, but it’s a lot less time and you have advocates working for you to make sure the credit freeze sticks. Read on. 

Freezing a child’s credit prevents anyone from opening new accounts in their name. Here’s how:

  • Contact Credit Bureaus:
    • You must contact each of the major credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.
    • Each bureau has its own process, often with online options and phone numbers. But don’t expect anyone to answer the phone. 
  • Provide Necessary Information:
    • You’ll need your child’s Social Security number, date of birth, and your own identifying information to verify your relationship.
    • You may also need to provide proof of address. Birth certificates, etc. 
  • Place the Freeze:
    • Each bureau will have a specific process, usually involving completing a form or making a phone call and sending in a ton of documentation. 
  • Obtain PINs:
    • Each bureau will assign a unique PIN or password.
    • You’ll need this PIN to temporarily lift the freeze if necessary (for example, to apply for a loan for college).

Important Notes:

  • Early Action: It’s best to freeze your child’s credit early on, even if they are very young.
  • Regular Monitoring: Regularly check your child’s credit reports for any unauthorized activity. And there shouldn’t even be a credit report, unless their identity was stolen. 
  • Consider a Credit Monitoring Service: These services can alert you to any suspicious activity on your child’s credit report.

Freezing your child’s credit is a proactive step to protect them from identity theft and potential financial harm.

I strongly recommend visiting the websites of the major credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) or contacting them directly for the most up-to-date and accurate information on freezing a child’s credit. Or… see below. 

Here’s another way to go about it and it’s not all that expensive and much more efficient: CreditParent (a company I have a stake in) helps parents freeze your child’s credit to prevent unauthorized accounts from being opened in their name.

Here’s the process for freezing your child’s credit with CreditParent:

  • CreditParent shows you how to gather your Childs information: You’ll provide details about your child and all the necessary documentation the credit bureaus need.
  • Via a secure and encrypted portal, CreditParent submits freeze requests on your behalf to all three major credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.
  • CreditParent then works with you to follow up with the credit bureaus to make sure that your child’s credit freeze has been established. Otherwise, the credit bureaus, sometimes just let your information sit there in a pile and do nothing with it. The credit bureaus aren’t efficient, at all. 

Here is me discussing the topic on Fox Boston:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=uTB3PCHtXBY%3Fsi%3DaWN6pdB-tvb9Rm2U

The PowerSchool data breach serves as a stark reminder of the critical importance of robust cybersecurity measures in protecting sensitive personal information. It underscores the need for continuous vigilance and proactive measures to safeguard individuals from the growing threat of cyberattacks.