Should Background Checks Be Required for Dating Sites?

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It’s no secret that there are kooky people both online and on the ground. The problem with the online part is kooky people seem to gravitate there. My theory is that those who have ulterior motives, an agenda of sorts, may believe they can lure in their victims easier online. I can see why they’d think that. It’s easier to lie online.

There’s no body language, no intonation in ones voice, and no emotional connection to the real person. Simply put, it’s harder for a person’s sixth sense to connect with an avatar.

When communicating online a person who might normally lack effective communication skills can speak in the written word easier than they can in public.  Someone who has bad intentions won’t be discovered as quickly because the other person can’t really “feel” them. Intuition often plays a role in making effective decisions.

Online dating sites argue that people should use their common sense. They further note that not all checks are completely accurate. But the fact is online dating sites are selling a lot more than an opportunity to connect. By default they give the people who sign on a level of legitimacy. There is an intended level of credibility granted to all who post their profile. These same sites market to the public to come to their website to find love.

All that being said it would be a good and prudent practice for any online dating site to further vet out and screen those who sign up. It won’t keep all the bad apples out, but it will significantly reduce the ones who are currently gaming the system.

Robert Siciliano is a Personal Security Expert and Adviser to Intelius.com. For more information see Intelius at Date Check to reduce your chances of encountering a bad guy. See him discussing dating security on E! True Hollywood Stories. (Disclosures)

Summer Heat: Online Dating Scams

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Love online. 20 years ago it wasn’t even a thought. 10 years ago it was weird. 5 years ago it was new and exciting. Today it’s as normal as milk and bread. If you are looking for a mate online you will eventually hit pay dirt. Most of my friends who tried it, succeeded at it.

When anything technology gets to the “normal stage” that’s also when scammers are well dug in. Scammers are usually much more ahead of the curve. When it was weird, they paid attention and the ones that had the foresight scammed, but when it was hot, they were figuring out all the different ways to pull the wool over their victim’s eyes and getting good at it. They ramped up and were beginning to perfect their craft.

Today, it’s a full time job for them. They know all the new scams and get better at revisiting the old ones.

Recently I signed up for a particular social network so nobody else would take my name. I was immediately contacted by a woman who enjoyed my profile on the social network. Problem was I hadn’t really set up my profile. But she liked it nonetheless.

So I responded “Thanks!” Then, she started to write me every day, and would put lots,and,lots of commas,in her sentances. Her spelling socked and HER capiTal leTTers were all,over,the,place. Plus,The spacing,    of her,words was weird,and from experience,dealing with scsammers,overseas I could tell,she didn’t really,like,my,profile. She wasn’t really a she, But a he, probably named Zambabooboo.

After communicating with “her” for 2 days she was talking love and marriage. After 4 days she wanted desperately to see me. On the 7th day she asked me for money for a plane ticket so she could come see me. I declined.

Robert Siciliano is a Personal Security Expert and Adviser to Intelius.com. See him discussing Safe Personal Dating on Tyra.

For more information see Intelius at Sex Offender Check and Date Check to reduce your chances of encountering a bad guy. (Disclosures)

Online Dating Liar Liar is 5’4, not 5’10

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But who cares? Apparently the dude with the 6 inch height difference did. And he figured the lady he was about to meet via chatting in an online dating service cared as well. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. Either way he started out in the relationship lying.

Many single people have been turning to the Internet for dating services. You can meet someone with the same interests, hobbies, and lifestyle. Dating services allow you to browse profile pages to shop for a potential mate while chatting it up with potential dates. In the process you are selling yourself as they are deciding whether to buy. And like a car on a “pre–owned” lot that was recovered from the waters of hurricane Katrina, the truth is often suppressed. .

But what happens when you decide to meet someone and you begin to discover little white lies? Realize that little white lies are often a front for big darker lies.

What else is this person hiding?   Are they married, have kids? Gone bankrupt, been arrested for violence? Or are they a registered sex offender? Are they unemployed when they said they have a job?

Sometimes the truth hurts and people innocently choose to adopt the “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” philosophy and simply don’t cough up the truth. Nothing good can come of this. This is why it is essential that you do your homework and find out as much about this person as possible to head off any potential heartaches.

Much of what you need to know about your new encounter can be found by doing a quick and easy background check. But don’t stop there. Google them, check out their Facebook page and dig as deep as you need to verify as much as possible to determine if their nose is growing.

Robert Siciliano is a Personal Security Expert and Adviser to Intelius.com. See him discussing Dating Security on E! True Hollywood Stories.

For more information see Intelius at Sex Offender Check and Date Check to reduce your chances of encountering a bad guy. (Disclosures)

Personal Security and Identity Theft Expert Speaker to Appear on E! Network’s ‘True Hollywood Stories Investigates’

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(BOSTON, Mass. – June 5, 2008 – IDTheftSecurity.com) Robert Siciliano, a personal security and identity theft expert speaker and CEO of IDTheftSecurity.com, will appear in “THS Investigates: Dating Nightmares,” an episode of the series “E! True Hollywood Stories.” The episode will run on June 6. In it, Siciliano and others will share advice on how to avoid dangerous cyber relationships, Internet child predators, swindling suitors, psychopaths, stalkers, and more. Readers may view YouTube video of the show’s trailer. Information on show times is available at E! Online.

“This show is a must-see for any single in the dating game,” said Siciliano. “While singles have far more options than ever before to meet their match, the new ways of finding that special someone are also fraught with dangers. Anyone who’s dating, especially women and those who are dating online, must educate themselves.”

Member of the Bank Fraud & IT Security Report‘s editorial board, Siciliano leads Fortune 500 companies and their clients through consumer education workshops that explore security solutions for business and individuals. A longtime identity theft speaker, he has discussed data security and consumer protection on CNBC, on NBC’s “Today Show,” FOX News Network, and elsewhere.

“Parents must also pay specific attention as well,” said Siciliano. The show features children under the age of 18 who have become victims of Internet predators. “It is essential that concerned parents understand the risks their children face while on the computer. The days of simply telling your kids not to talk to strangers are over. Today, those strangers could be right in the child’s bedroom chatting online and even exchanging lewd photographs.”

“Another danger surrounding online dating is identity theft,” Siciliano continued. “Social engineers will often gain the trust of another through social media websites. These include dating sites. Those who date online must arm themselves with the knowledge they need to avoid criminals’ traps.”

Those wishing to learn how to protect themselves against identity theft may view video of Siciliano at VideoJug.

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About IDTheftSecurity.com

Identity theft affects us all. Robert Siciliano, CEO of IDTheftSecurity.com and member of the Bank Fraud & IT Security Report‘s editorial board, makes it his mission to provide consumer education solutions on identity theft to Fortune 500 companies and their clients. A leader of personal safety and security seminars nationwide, Siciliano has been featured on “The Today Show,” CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, “FOX News,” “The Suze Orman Show,” “The Montel Williams Show,” “Maury Povich,” “Sally Jesse Raphael,” “The Howard Stern Show,” and “Inside Edition.” Numerous magazines, print news outlets, and wire services have turned to him, as well, for expert commentary on personal security and identity theft. These include Forbes, USA Today, Entrepreneur, Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping, The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Times, The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, United Press International, Reuters, and others. Visit Siciliano’s Web site, blog and YouTube page.

The media are encouraged to get in touch with Siciliano directly:

Robert Siciliano
Personal Security Expert
CEO of IDTheftSecurity.com
PHONE: 888-SICILIANO (742-4542)
FAX: 877-2-FAX-NOW (232-9669)
Robert@IDTheftSecurity.com
www.idtheftsecurity.com

The media may also contact:

Brent W. Skinner
President & CEO of STETrevisions
PHONE: 617-875-4859
FAX: 866-663-6557
BrentSkinner@STETrevisions.biz
www.STETrevisions.biz